He Promised to Return
by A7xLvR
Summary: It has been a year since Ginji last visited Makubex at the limitless fortress. While he is gone, Makubex feels empty. Once he returns, Makubex questions his feelings for Ginji and thier friendship gets turned upside down. Strongly suggests GinjixMakubex
1. the dark room

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Get Backers or any characters in the series...blah blah blah the usual disclaimers. (I just use them for my own sick and twisted pleasures!)

I wrote this chapter at about 2:00 in the morning. (For some reason that's the only time that I can write fanfics…)

NOTE: This is my first fanfic published online. (not written)

Yes Valerie…I have written a fanfic before (it was just so incoherent that I cant post it!)

Author's note: this might be considered kind of yaoi…it's most likely not going to be explicit or anything, but if you shudder at a guy pondering if he may love his best friend, then please don't read this and **no flames!**

One of the genres is angst, because all of the characters encounter a great deal of angst. One of them is romance because there will be (later on) a love triangle.

Oh…and if you read this…PLEASE REVIEW! You can even just put "I read it" or "I like it" and that will make me very happy (also: if you review…I might just decide to click on your username and read some of your stories? Got me?

So review! And enjoy

Chapter one: the dark room

"He's not coming back."

The boy softly muttered to himself, as he lowered his head. Several silver locks fell into his face, which caused a sharp contrast against the black room. He turned away from the soft glow of the computer screen, only to see the empty room that imprisoned him.

He hadn't been kidnapped, kept inside, or forced in the room against his will. The boy elected to be there, as strange as it may seem. His deep blue eyes were pensive. He had been abandoned once again. A single image danced across his mind; the man who promised to return, walking away. Turning around, and giving one final warm smile before disappearing into the crowd.

The boy's concentration was broken when he heard light footsteps echo outside of the room.

"Makubex?" a soft voice questioned.

"Yes, Sakura?" he responded quietly.

"Are you…okay?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm quite fine." Makubex lifted his head slightly to look at her, even though he could only spot a faint silhouette in the doorway.

"In fact…I" he began, "Would appreciate being alone at this moment."

Somewhat disheartened, she responded "I'm right here if you need me."

Once she left, he replied softly, "I don't." He only needed one person right now, and it certainly wasn't Sakura. He longed for those gently brown eyes and perky smile.

_What was the point of him saving me, if he was never coming back?_ Makubex thought quietly to himself. _He shouldn't have stopped me._

He thought about that man constantly. The idea of going outside of the limitless fortress never crossed his mind. All he wanted was to sit in that room and wait for the person who lit up his life to walk in.

Makubex watched the empty doorway intently, as he had been doing for the past year, the computer's soft hum and gentle glow, which normally comforted him, became an irritant. He turned around and faced the only thing that he could ever take control of. A finger hovered over the off button. With one gentle press, countless hours of work would be gone forever. Five days taken from his life.

_It doesn't matter._

The light immediately vanished, and the low hum gradually faded away.

Makubex turned around once more to face the room's entrance. The doorway was gone, not only shrouded in the room's darkness, but also gone in his mind. There is no way in or out, he is trapped inside until he returns.

"Ginji…"


	2. The return

Chapter 2: The return

Makubex woke with an aching back, and a pair of happy brown eyes about an inch away from his face. He jerked his head away in surprise, and fell out of his the chair onto the floor. Without moving a muscle, he stared at the man in front of him in complete disbelief. Those were the eyes that haunted his very dreams. Makubex stared in denial, his mouth wide open as several different emotions ran over him at once.

"Hey Makubex, are you okay?" Ginji questioned, wondering why he was being stared at like a complete stranger. Makubex turned his head and replied softly, "no." Ginji kneeled and wrapped his arms around him. "Everything's going to be okay…I'm right here."

"You came back," he replied, still in shock that Ginji was right in front of him.

"Of course! I said I would, didn't I?" Ginji smiled warmly, as he began to withdraw his arms. Makubex held onto him tighter. "What took so long? It's been a year since the last time I saw you." Ginji took a moment to think about the question, and responded lightly, "So long? Oh…I didn't think you missed me that much."

"I did."

Makubex let go of him, even though that was all he wanted at the moment. He longed to feel Ginji's warmth against him. The desire grew every second and was driving him insane. "So, how have you been?" Ginji innocently questioned.

"Fine." Makubex was lying to Ginji, and himself. Every day since he left was just a struggle to survive. "No," He continued, "It hasn't been."

"What do you mean?"

"Every day…Since you left…"

"Go on."

"I've remained in this room."

Ginji, in disbelief that he actually meant that asked, "What do you mean? It's not like you stayed inside this whole time, right?" Makubex was quiet, but the look in his eyes gave the answer away. "Why?" Ginji asked, with a great amount of sympathy in his voice.

"I didn't want to," he began, "I was afraid if that if you came back and I left, you wouldn't know where I was, and you would leave."

At this point, Ginji was deeply concerned. _If I leave again, he'll just shut himself up in this room. _He thought to himself.To say would be a hard thing to accept, since he left the limitless fortress to escape his past, and now he would have to face it once again. "Well then, that settles everything! I'll stay here…At least for a while anyways." Ginji exclaimed perkily.

Makubex looked up at him. "Really?"

"You didn't think I would just leave you here all alone, did you?"

"What about your partner, Ban Midou?"

"I nearly forgot about that…I'm sure he wouldn't mind staying here for a bit. I mean, it's free after all."

"I wouldn't mind what, now?" Questioned a tall man with spiky brown hair, and striking blue eyes. "Oh! There you are Ban!" Exclaimed Ginji excitedly.

"Well, that was impeccable timing," Makubex cut in. Ban and Ginji both turned to look at him. "It happened according to my calculations."

"He's back to himself alright," replied Ban sarcastically, as he lit up a cigarette, "so, how long are we staying here, Ginji?"

"Well I haven't figured our how long exactly, but I was thinking….Maybe for a few weeks?"

"That's a few weeks we don't have to sleep in the car," Ban replied, as Sakura walked into the room. "Sakura, can you prepare rooms for these two?"

"Yes." As she began to leave the room, Ginji went up to her. "About the last time I was here, and almost hurt you…I didn't mean-"

"I forgive you. I know that you would never hurt anyone if you had the choice." she said calmly and walked out of the room.


	3. almost alone

Chapter 3: Almost alone

It wasn't that Makubex didn't like Ban, it was the fact that he was always around Ginji. Constantly it seemed. As he came to think of it, it wasn't only Ban that bothered him. Sakura began to get on his nerves as well. He just wanted Ban, Sakura, and everyone else to leave. The only person that he wanted anywhere near him was Ginji.

As the partners talked, Makubex watched Ginji intently, carefully studying every expression, movement, and gesture that he made. He noticed how the sunlight caused his blonde hair to glisten. Makubex couldn't tear his eyes away, even if he tried to.

As much as he denied it, and thought it strange, he felt attracted to Ginji. He wanted to be alone with him.

"I'm going to the Honky Tonk for a while. Are you coming, Ginji?" Ban asked as he glanced at him.

"I just want to catch up with Makubex right now."

"Alright, I'll see you later then." Makubex sighed heavily as Ban left the fortress. _Why do I want him so badly?_ He thought to himself. _Why can't I take my eyes away from him? Maybe it's just because I haven't seen him in a while._ That was the only explanation that he could currently accept.

"So…What do you want to do?" Ginji asked cheerfully.

"I would like to speak with you." He replied in a serious tone.

"About what?"

"Anything, and everything, I suppose."

"Okay, but where to start…I mean…So much has happened."

"Well, what have you been up to lately?" Makubex asked as casually as he could.

"The recovery service, as always"

"It's nice to know that you've been doing well." He uttered quietly.

Ginji placed a hand on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be okay. Just take it easy and stop worrying so much. The gentle touch caused a shiver to run down Makubex's spine. He felt nervous and somehow guilty whenever Ginji touched him.

A large strain of thought ran through his head.

_I can't possibly…_

"Makubex."

_It can't be…_

"Hey."

_How could I?_

"Makubex."

_Do I?_

"Makubex, are you okay?"

_Why would I?_

"Hey! Snap out of it…"

_Why wouldn't I?_

At this point, Ginji had his hands on Makubex's shoulders, shaking him. He remained completely limp in his arms. "Ginji…"

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"You were always there." Makubex quietly replied.

"What?"

"When I was younger, I could always look up to you. Once you left, I had nobody. I was all alone." Even though leaving Makubex always bothered him, Ginji always managed to put on an endearing smile, and provide kind words. "Don't say that, now. You had Sakura, and Jubei," he continued, "and you still do."

"I needed you."

Ginji was quiet for a moment. He knew that Makubex cared about him, and looked up to him, but he never realized just how much he actually did. "I never knew-" Makubex cut in, "now you do." Once he said that, he realized that he was still lying in Ginji's arms. He felt better, and could have stood up and he wanted. But he didn't want to.

"If I could…I would keep you here…forever."

"Really, Makubex? You mean that?" Asked Ginji, who was completely shocked by what he just said.

Makubex could hardly believe that those words came out of his mouth either. He knew that he meant every word of it. _If that was all that I wanted to say, then why do I want to take it back now?_ He was quiet, confused, and thinking only to himself. There was nothing else to say, but so much more at the same time.

"Never mind. You don't need to answer that…I know that you do." Ginji replied in a happy voice, although he looked sad.

"Why are you sad? Was it my previous statement? I knew that I shouldn't have said that."

"No…it wasn't what you said, it's just that…I never should have left."

"But you hurt people when you were here. That's why you left in the first place."

"That wasn't as important as you."

That sentence made Makubex feel somewhat uncomfortable. He had no idea in what way Ginji meant that. _What does he think of me as? What do I think of him as?_ Makubex was almost positive that Ginji only thought of him in a brotherly way.

_But with Ginji, you never can tell._

"Ginji…how do you think of me?" Makubex asked nervously.

"You were always like brother I never had," he continued, "Why do you ask?"

"I don't…know. I guess I'm just confused right now." Most people would get what Makubex was saying, but to put it nicely, Ginji isn't most people. "Confused about what?"

His heart was pounding. _There's no way that I can tell him now…no way._ "I don't even know anymore." He replied with remorse.

Ginji couldn't take looking at his sad face any longer. He knew that they would have to do something together in order to cheer him up. "I know what will make you feel better…How about tomorrow we go out for ice cream…on me?"

_Yes…he changed the subject. I'm free for now, and I don't have to answer his question._ Makubex thought about it for a second then replied, "I would like that."

"How about at two forty five?"

"Why two forty five?" Makubex asked, wondering why such a specific time.

"Uh…I don't know…" He replied, as he shrugged his shoulders.

Makubex laughed, and after a few seconds, Ginji joined in.

"What's…so…funny?" Ginji asked between laughs.

"I don't know!" He said, as they laughed together.

But he did know. It was the way Ginji could be so dense and air headed at times that made Makubex laugh. It was another one of the reasons that Makubex is completely captivated by Ginji.

_I suppose it's just part of that charm of his…_

_-Wait…did I just admit that he has charm?_


	4. bittersweet

Chapter Four: bittersweet

As Makubex stepped outside of the limitless fortress, for the first time in a year he felt liberated, relieved and inexplicably fragile. He stepped out away from the shade of the building, and into the light. The intelligent, bright blue eyes of his were now visible as the sun lit up his fair complexion, and the wind rippled through his silvery locks. While Ginji waited for him to catch up, he remembered how healthy, young and vibrant Makubex used to be as opposed to now.

His voice was now somber as he spoke in a dull tone, and looked down at the ground. Even his eyes, which once reflected his sharp calculating mind and confidence were now filled with hurt and indifference. Makubex felt like he was pierced by Ginji's concerned glare. All he could do was stand where was, look and feel as if he were in a great deal of pain.

"Well, let's go then!" Exclaimed Ginji with great enthusiasm. Makubex snapped out of it and slowly began to advance toward Ginji. Once he caught up, he stayed at Ginji's pace and walked by his side.

"So," began Ginji, trying to start up a conversation, "When was the last time you had ice cream?"

"I don't know," Makubex replied sadly.

Ginji began to talk even faster, "I sure hope it wasn't too long ago, and if it was, well then, that's okay, I mean because I haven't had any in two months, but that's…because Ban was being mean and he..." He stopped once he realized that Makubex's mood was sinking even lower.

"Hey, look Makubex," Ginji said as he put his arm around Makubex and steered him in a different direction. Makubex blushed slightly at this.

_His arm is…around me_

"It's the Honky Tonk," continued Ginji, "you need to meet Paul, Natsumi and of course you've already met Ban-chan.

"Indeed I have", replied Makubex coldly, as he saw Ban sitting inside of the restaurant. Not only was he jealous when he saw Ban in person but even at the very mention of him. Ginji led Makubex in, first to the bar where Paul was reading his newspaper and Natsumi was drying glasses off.

"Hey, Natsumi, how have you been?" Ginji asked the girl with black hair and eyes of the same color.

"Oh! Great Ginji…but didn't I see you three days ago?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Well, we're usually in here more often than that…" he said motioning to Ban. "That we are." Ban replied with a sigh.

"By the way, this is my friend Makubex; I've known him for quite a long time." Ginji said to Natsumi.

"Nice to meet you." She said to Makubex cheerily.

"Like wise."

Ginji moved his arm off from around Makubex's shoulders.

_Why did he have to do that? I liked it…I didn't feel alone anymore_

Makubex's spirit sank. This moment was even worse than when he took his first steps out of the limitless fortress, picturing Ginji walk away when he left for the second time, after preventing his suicide. Ginji turned, waving one final time and departed with Ban.

_Ban…of all people, why did it have to be him? The one person who may care for Ginji more than I do, and in the same instance may be using him for his own selfish needs…_

"Don't spoil those boys now, Natsumi." Paul responded, looking up from his newspaper. Ginji sat a table sitting next to Makubex and across from Ban. Natsumi returned with the pizza.

"Here you go. Enjoy!"

"Thanks a lot, Natsumi!" Ginji said happily, as he pulled a slice of pizza away from the others. As they ate, Makubex enjoyed the pizza and how nice everyone was being, but still felt like he was alone in the room. The dark computer room was no different than this room, or any room for that matter. No place mattered, as long Makubex himself there and Ginji was there with him.

_That's it. I do have feelings for him_

He was completely sure of it now. If he was jealous of Ban, wanted to be alone with Ginji and most of all desired to be touched by him, than the answer he sought was right in front of his face.

_He will never feel the same. I am merely a brother to him, and that's all that I will ever exist to be…_

"Makubex..."

"What? Forgive me, I was just…"

"We should go."

"Didn't you want to get..."

"Maybe another time. Not now." Ginji replied in a serious tone that struck Makubex as unusual.


	5. the risk

Chapter 5: the risk

Makubex didn't understand why or how they ended up in Ginji's bedroom, but somehow they did. They were both sitting on the bed, right next to each other. "Makubex…" Ginji began in a soft voice, verging on a whisper.

"You've been acting really off lately."

"I'm sad."

_A simple response in retrospect to what I could have said, but it conveys the point nevertheless…_

"Just tell me…" Makubex looked up at Ginji. "Tell me whatever it is that's troubling you and I'll take it all away." Ginji told him softly, as he touched the side of his cheek. Makubex gazed at him tenderly. He wanted to tell him desperately but the words refused to come out of his mouth.

"Tell me…" he said even softer.

_You're not mine; that is what, Ginji._ He wanted nothing more than to tell him those exact words that kept streaming through his head. Out of all of the phrases that the genius mind could construe this was the only option. The only simple words that could truly describe the situation and truly convey how everything was meant to be.

"Tell me…" he whispered desperately.

Makubex began to sweat and twitch in nervousness. To him, the whispered words could be described as erotic and lascivious. His keen logic and mind knew that Ginji meant it in a brotherly way but different parts of his body thought otherwise. He couldn't help himself. The desire, pain and torment were at its absolute peak and Makubex had to end it somehow.

He threw his arms around Ginji and pressed the lips of the one he longed for against his own. Makubex kissed Ginji passionately, almost fiercely. All of the urges and deep rooted feeling buried for so long suddenly surfaced and in an instant ceased to exist.

Everything in the room became evanescent and slowly began fade away, except for the two of them. Even the bed below them was gone. What they were sitting on then, Makubex himself didn't even know. In that one instant, Makubex felt as if his greatest task which was living his own life, had finally been completed and it would remain that way forever. The moment was the pinnacle of perfection. He wanted time itself to freeze and preserve the picture as it was, never changing in any way at all. Well, to Makubex at least.

What Makubex did slowly dawned upon him, as he opened his eyes and saw the shocked expression upon Ginji's face. The image contorted in that single second, as he stared into that pair of confused brown eyes seemed to last an eternity. Makubex pulled away and shifted his eyes to the floor. Looking at Ginji was completely unbearable. He felt shame, and pure idiocy as his hands trembled at his sides. They were both silent as Ginji sat there in a state of shock, and Makubex shook and panted softly.

_Why did I have to do that? What I did can never be taken back. He will reminisce about this for the rest of his life, as will I. I will look back on it as a mirage that never was and never will be real… and he…well…who knows if he'll even stay anymore…_

"Once a paper is crumpled, it will never be the same. Even if it is smoothed out, it will always have faults where it was once creased and I realize that now," Makubex whispered in a shaky voice as he left the room.

As he returned to his own room, he remembered that Ginji promised to stay for three weeks; therefore he would have to see Ginji again. Because Ginji slept in a room adjacent to the computer room, Makubex would have to see him every day. He felt ashamed, stripped of the scant amount of confidence that he once had. Makubex knew that he would never look at Ginji the same ever again.

_What would I say to him? Or better yet…what would he say to me?_

Makubex sat in the computer chair and stared into the doorway, as he had before Ginji returned. It felt like there was a hole in his stomach and he felt lightheaded. The walls appeared as if they were closing in on him and the floor seemed to be falling out from below. The chair nearly fell over as he tottered back and forth inside of the seemingly spinning room. All he wanted was one chance to go back and change his mistake but he knew that this wasn't possible, even for someone like him. Makubex knew that he could only manipulate time and matter in his VR and not the real world.

In his mind, he had been abandoned, left behind once more. It was all coming back to him, as the painful memories resurfaced and looped repeatedly, the same images that ravaged his dreams.

Makubex looked out the window, which was barely visible in the unlit room. An overwhelming urge to jump out of the window began to surge throughout his body once again. He then recalled how Ginji broke through a lower story window and caught him. If he had risked life and limb for Makubex, then he obviously wanted him to live on no matter what.

_No…I cant, I have a purpose…I have to stay here._

_For him_

Makubex believed that Ginji would always the unrequited dream, just out his grasp. The only thing that ever mattered. The only thing that was even real in the virtual reality that had consumed his already fragile life. He knew very well which he coveted and what he would never possess. Much to his dismay both were one in the same. Makubex leaned back in his chair. As he closed his eyes, he pictured Ginji coming into his room and forgiving him for what he had done. Then he would lean over, kiss Makubex lightly on the lips and hold him close as he told Makubex the words that he wanted to hear...


	6. the confusion begins

Chapter 6: the confusion begins

The goal he had in mind, as he walked down the dimly lit corridor, was to furtively slip out of the fortress completely unnoticed. He figured that this would be easy to pull off since it was four 'o clock in the morning, and no one would be awake. _Even if they are awake, it's not like they're wandering around looking for me, right?_ He thought cautiously to himself.His plan was very executable, yet somehow he had the gut feeling that things wouldn't go according to plan.

He stopped for a moment to listen. All he could hear were faint footsteps coming up from behind him. The one thing he hoped for was that they were anybody but Ginji's. With the quietest feet he could possibly accomplish, he rushed to the door. His heart pounded, as he fumbled around and struggled to open it. The footsteps grew closer and faster with every passing second. It was grating him; he had to escape somehow.

"Makubex…" began a soft female voice, "what are you doing?"

He let go of the door, let out a deep sigh and leaned his back against the door.

"Well, I was…"

"What's troubling you?" Sakura questioned as she moved closer to him.

"It's nothing, re-"

"You know you can tell me anything," she said calmly, as she touched his face.

"Yesterday…" As he paused, Sakura removed her hand from his face, and her hands slid down to his chest, while she leaned against him. "What about yesterday?"

"I think…Ginji hates me." This surprised Sakura, as she would never expect him to have any sort of conflict with Ginji.

"Why would anyone ever hate you?" She said as she wrapped her arms around him, and embraced him tightly.

"I kind of-" before he could finish, Ginji seemed to walk into the hallway out of nowhere.

"Oh…" He began as he smiled inquisitively. Makubex blushed immediately in sheer embarrassment, as he saw the beginning of a great misunderstanding. This one specific incident that will cause problems that take many years to remedy.

_Great…now he _thinks_ that I have feelings for Sakura. _

All he wanted was to shout "It's not her I care about, it's you!" but once again, the words refused to come out. "Sorry to bother you two, but I was just looking for a little midnight snack if that's okay." As Ginji looked happy and somewhat hungry, Makubex just stood there completely stupefied. His mouth was dry, his hands were shaking and his fingertips were numb.

Sakura glanced over at Makubex, and when he didn't respond to Ginji, she answered "Go down that corridor, take a right and then head south." Ginji nodded a few times, whiles she instructed him.

"Thanks!" Ginji replied, as he walked away and turned a corner, out of sight.

"So what were you saying again?" Sakura questioned.

_It's useless trying to avoid the question. I might as well tell her; everyone will find out anyways._

"I kissed him."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that among friends I guess…" she replied in an uneasy tone.

"In _that_ way."

Sakura was silent. Not only was she completely shocked, but crushed as well. Ever since she met Makubex, she had always been able to look past his age and love him for the man who he truly is; even when he was much younger. Sakura had always been his savior, the sole confidant who provided the solace he desperately hungered for. She never regarded her feelings as strange or obscure, but figured that age didn't matter in the end.

As she watched him grow, she always hoped that he would see her as more than a friend and a sister figure. He entrusted her with everything, and she with him as they had an infallible understanding of each other. Sakura wanted nothing more than to move on and forget about him, but she wasn't able to. No matter how hard she tried to push away, she always found herself right back in his arms. She would never be able to resist those pensive blue eyes and was completely aware of this fact.

"Mmm-" she began to say his name, but stopped at once when she saw the cold, expressionless look that began to settle on his face. His eyes were empty and his visage could be described as similar to that of a porcelain doll.

"I need to take a walk," Makubex began nervously "To clear my head."

"Okay." She replied apprehensively, while she looked away. She couldn't bear to look at him knowing what he thought about Ginji and would never think about her.

_He will never be mine, or even Ginji's for that matter,_ Sakura thought sadly, _I just hope he finds happiness… even if it's not with me._

Sakura watched in anguish as Makubex walked out of the door calmly, with pain set deeply into his eyes. He turned his head to the side, and silver hair shifted over his eyes before he slowly strode away. To her, it was the moment he walked out of her life forever. Makubex walked with his head lowered and in her assumption, was on the verge of tears. She knew that he would return, but whatever it was that they had between them would never be the same. Sakura reached out her hand to him and when she realized that he kept walking, her arm remained extended in hope that he may turn around.


	7. the interrogation

Chapter 7: the interrogation

His eyelids slowly drifted apart as he awakened. The brilliant blue eyes focused on the side of the pillow, then to the ceiling. Once Ban slid out of bed, he left the room and walked into the passageway. He decided to look for Ginji, because it was almost noon and he would be awake at this time. The room adjacent to his was room that Ginji slept in. Ban opened the door only to find an absence of the person he was searching for.

_He must be awake already. I wonder where he is…he couldn't have gotten very far this early in the day…_

Ban continued to walk around the fortress and went through several different passageways until he heard a shuffling sound. He then spotted Ginji, slowly shuffling down the hall with a worried expression settled on his face.

_I wonder what his problem is. He seemed ecstatic to be staying here a few days ago._

"Well…" Ban began, as he walked up behind him.

Ginji stopped, and turned around to face the voice speaking to him. "Oh…Ban I was just looking for Makubex. Have you seen him?"

"The last time that I saw him was last night."

"Last night!" Ginji responded in surprise, as if he had just remembered something of importance.

"Anything suspicious happen last night?" Ban asked, figuring that there was some sort of kidnapping or foul play involved that could open a case.

"Not suspicious but…" Ginji paused and cleared his through.

"Anything strange?"

"No. Yes…but nothing bad…I mean it wasn't good but…"

Ban arched a brow, as he knew that he was on to something. "What exactly did happen last night?"

Ginji blushed, not only because of what was just said. But the way that Ban was looking at him in more than just an interrogative way. He couldn't think of any way to avoid the question or change the subject. There was no possible way that Ginji could lie to him. Those sharp blue eyes saw straight through him and there was nothing he could do but tell the truth, as strange and embarrassing as it was.

"He…umm…" Ginji began nervously.

"He what?"

"He…well he kissed me."

"Kissed?"

"Yeah…out of nowhere! I don't even know why, or what for…or even how! He-"

"Did you kiss him back?" Ban interrupted, somewhat coldly. He was growing more upset by the second, as he glared at Ginji.

"No! Of course not." Ginji replied in an instant, but still wondering why Ban had asked.

"Did you let him?"

Ginji was even more confused, as he stared blankly into Ban's eyes. "I don't know."

"You do know."

"I didn't know what else to do, Ban." Ban turned his back to Ginji, but before he could walk away, Ginji continued, "He pushed away after a minute."

Ban turned around. "A minute and you did nothing about it?" He asked in a serious tone. Ginji was silent. He already felt bad about the situation and Ban was making it much worse.

"I'm sorry," Ginji began. Ban's expression softened when Ginji said this. "I know…its's my fault for letting him." Ginji looked to the side and was surprised to see Jubei standing by him. "Jubei! How long have you been here?"

"I just came to look for Sakura. I can't find her…it's not like her to leave without telling someone."

"Okay," Ginji began, "I need to set things right and I'll start by finding Sakura. After all, it is my fault that she left."

"Your fault?" Questioned Jubei calmly.

"It's a long story," Ban began, "but why don't you ask Makubex? I'm sure he'll know exactly what she's up to."

"Makubex is gone as well." Jubei replied.

Ban's eyes lit up with a plan in mind. "Ginji…you don't look so good. You need some rest, I mean all of this worrying isn't good for you," he said all of this very quickly, as he lead Ginji into his room. Ginji sat down on the bed and still looked worried.

"Don't worry…" Ban said as he gently touched Ginji's cheek with one hand "…I'll take care of it." He smiled warmly and Ginji returned the expression as Ban began to walk out of the room. While Ban walked down the hallway toward the exit, he wondered where he should begin his search.

_The sooner I find Makubex…the better._

As much as Ginji wanted to stop Ban and look for them, he figured that Ban had a good reason for doing it himself. Ban's reason wasn't clear to him yet, but Ginji was okay with that. Ginji thought about the fact that Makubex had suicidal tendencies that could resurface at any time, but he trusted that Ban could find him on his own. At the same time Ginji was apprehensive, as he imagined the pain that was plaguing Makubex. All he wanted was to make him happy. To make him smile. To make all of the problems leave him. To make him whole again.


	8. the escape

**Authors note:** This is a chapter is about Makubex's walk, and ch8 will be Ban's search for him.

In ch8 it will continue from the time that Ban left the fortress in ch7 and searches for Makubex in ch9 (this happens near the end of makubex's walk.)

Ban is searching for Makubex near the end of his walk. Get it? The time overlaps as they are walking at the same time

This chapter continues right from the time that Makubex left the fortress in ch6.

**(ch8 is about Maku chan's walk and ch9 is about Ban chan's walk which occur at the same time, as Ban is looking for Ginji )**

My inspiration: "The kill" by 30 seconds to mars. I was listening to it while I wrote this.

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Chapter 8: the escape

Blindly, he stepped out of the fortress. Sunlight penetrated his eyes, causing them to water. He used his arm to shield his face from the blinding light. The dark room had caused him to forget how bright it was outside. He lifted his head and walked a few steps. Makubex glanced back at the fortress. He then looked away and proceeded to leave his past behind. The further he strayed, the more pleasant everything became.

He walked down a dark alley that led him into a park. The grass was green and lush. He saw children playing in a playground and various people walking around, conversing with one another. Makubex stopped, when he spotted a woman with shiny brown hair and a man with short black hair holding hands. They appeared to be a happy couple. The one thing that he knew he could not achieve.

_They look so…happy._

He turned around and faced the opposite direction so no one could see. His eyes welled with tears. Makubex lowered his head, and covered his face with his hands. _Was happiness to much to ask?_ Apparently it was, as it was something that he never had. Even as a child he manipulated the virtual world in order to make up for the lack of control he had in the real world. Nothing made sense anymore. He had achieved so many accomplishments that most people cannot. Yet one thing that any average person can get is impossible to reach. He always figured that there was someone for everyone. Now he realized that it was more complicated than that. Someone who wants another person has to be right in the eyes of the other person as well. Both people have to be right for each other.

Maybe he could have someone else. He knew very well that he could find someone who felt the same way about him. Someone who would accept him for who he was. But he didn't want just anyone. He wanted the impossible. He wanted someone who didn't, and will never think of him in the same way. Makubex didn't know how or why but he adored Ginji. He just loved him. Not one thing, but everything. Everything he said. Everything he did. Every expression of his face. Every blink of his eye. Every motion of his hand. Every hair on his head that slightly shifted in the wind. Every rise of his chest as he slept soundly.

He walked away from the park and the lovers. Makubex walked down the sidewalk near another alley. A raindrop splashed on his nose. As the rainfall increased, he could hear it patter on the sidewalk. He crossed a road and entered a sea of people. Even though the sidewalk was crowded, he felt alone. Completely isolated from the other people. They were in their own world as he was in his. Worried with their own worries. Concerned in their own matters. He marveled at the invisible barrier between the unacquainted. He couldn't just talk to any random person. There are crossroads that divide people from their own life and the lives of others. You can't stand there and talk because they are going somewhere just like you. You have your own path as well. There are different destinations to be met and you can't go both places at the same time.

_If a person does, then _they_ go to someone else's destination and lose their own. They would be following someone else's path. Living a lie…_

He couldn't stand the crowd of the ignorant and materialistic, so he cut into the nearest alley. The alley was more like a small street that ran between houses. He saw into a window and spotted a family eating dinner together. The kitchen window was cracked open. Makubex felt the emanating warmth from outside. It made him feel hollow and sick to the stomach, so he walked on.

He could not bring himself to accept the truth. It's not possible to love someone when the love itself was never real. He loved the idea of Ginji: someone from his childhood that could love and protect him as he had in the past. It was then he realized that his object of desire had never existed.

Makubex stopped and leaned his back against the alley wall. Three small boys played tag, chasing each other back and forth. One tagged the other and then the other chased the third. He stared blankly at the children and watched as the shadows danced on the concrete wall.

_Children are living proof that ignorance is bliss._

If only he was ignorant. If only he was narrow minded. His vast depth of intellect was making him miserable. Everything is overanalyzed. Everything is a big deal. In these ways he envied the children. Unlike him they were average boys sheltered by their family. If only he had a family.

_I do have family. There's Sakura, Jubei…and…_

_Ginji…_


	9. the fall

Author's note: The beginning of this chapter is at the same time as Maku chan's walk in ch8. Halfway through this chapter, it is after Maku chan's walk. (It will be obvious when this happens. Not too hard to underst and.)

For some reason…this chapter took a lot of editing. I have no idea why…but at least its finally done! sighs

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Chapter 9: the fall

He could recall Ginji's reaction clearly. The expression slowly washed over Ginji's previously calm face. Anxiety stirred in those soft brown eyes, as he was told that Makubex was gone.

_That kid…causing so much trouble. Making Ginji worry so much. What the hell was he thinking?_

As Ban crossed the street, he reflected on Makubex. The more that he was around him; the more he didn't like him. That kid caused way too many problems. He caused Ginji too much pain. _Who is he to do this to Ginji? Ginji doesn't need him. He needs me. I'm the one who takes care of him. Makubex is only in the way. _Ban couldn't think of any reason for Ginji to even talk to Makubex. He's just some kid, after all.

Ban was always there for him. Makubex wasn't. And he isn't now. In an inexplicable way, he was jealous of him. Jealous of all of the attention Ginji gave to him. Jealous of the unique bond that they shared. Jealous of…the…kiss? _That can't be right._

The rain shifted from the soft pattering, to a hard slapping on the sidewalk. Ban's spiky locks were easily flattened by the heavy drops. Rain poured outside and Makubex was nowhere in sight. It grew increasingly darker outside, as the sun lowered and grey clouds filled the sky. The streetlights lit up almost instantly. Ban approached the park. He took a shortcut through the wet, muddy grass to the other side of the park. Looking around, he saw people with umbrellas, but no Makubex.

Ban left the park and walked down the same street that Makubex had. There was significantly less walking traffic. A few people walked briskly down the street. He crossed to another street and into an alley. Ban spotted an abandoned ball lying in a puddle of mud against a brick wall. He walked down the alley and spotted a few silver hairs on the chain link fence that divided the opposing sides. Ban picked up a single hair and examined it closely. A single drop of water slid down the hair shaft. His blue eyes brightened. Makubex was here. _He can't be too far off, now._

Ban swiftly climbed the fence and jumped down. He exited the pathway and entered a street. As he was walking, something silvery caught his eye. It was Makubex. He ran down the street and shoved past a few people as he made his way to Makubex.

"Gotchya." Ban said, as he grabbed a hold of Makubex by his shoulders. Makubex turned his head to see his captor. "Oh. Its you." He responded in a disappointed tone.

"What's that supposed to mean, kid?"

"Kid?"

"You heard me. Let's go."

"Go where?" Makubex asked calmly.

"Don't play stupid."

"I don't have to go anywhere." He replied indignantly.

"What about Ginji? Does he mean nothing to you?" Ban was growing frustrated by the lack of cooperation.

"I'm sure that he would be better off without me." Makubex responded in a somber tone. His eyes were completely fixed on the ground below him. The rain had darkened his silver hair to a dull grey.

"Look, kid. I'm not here to argue with you. I just came to get you because Ginji was worried. He wanted to look for you himself, but I didn't let him."

"Why not?" He asked, as he continued to stare at the ground.

"I have my reasons." Ban responded with a strange tone as if he were hiding something.

"Why?" Makubex looked up at him with a prying stare.

"You'll see if you come."

"Well if you have no reason..." Makubex began, as he walked away. Ban stepped in front of him.

"If you don't come willingly, I'll have to make you."

"I'm fully aware of your capabilities and I would prefer to return in a state of consciousness." He replied with a sigh.

"Then let's go." Ban walked away and Makubex reluctantly trailed behind him.

"I wanted to find you because-" His voice trailed off into an inaudible murmur.

"You want to impress Ginji? I know that." Makubex interrupted with a piercing stare.

"Actually, I just wanted to talk to you."

"It's true though."

"No." Ban interjected quickly.

Makubex was beginning to grow curious about the subject matter. "What did you want to speak with me about?"

"If you hurt him again…" He began, with a flicker of anger in his eyes.

"Is that a threat, Mr. Midou?"

"It could be. Depends on your actions."

"I was right. It is like that." He replied with a slight smirk.

In a flash, Ban grabbed the back of his neck. "How much do you want to live?"

"You wouldn't." He said calmly.

"Maybe not. But I don't think being unconscious for a week is very much fun."

Makubex was silent.

"You've changed." Ban added, with a disappointed expression.

Makubex didn't care about Ban. He didn't care about anything or anyone else at the moment. Not even Ginji. All he could think about was the rejection. He was unable to handle the situation and the inexplicable feeling that followed with it. Makubex didn't want to return, but he didn't want to remain alone in the rain either. It was a strange feeling. A feeling that nothing mattered anymore. He _had_ ruined everything.


End file.
